Whether it’s anxiety or sadness; family, relationship or personal growth issues, talking to a professional can help.
Whether it’s anxiety or sadness; family, relationship or personal growth issues, talking to a professional can help.
The Gottman Method Couples Therapy is based on Dr. John Gottman’s research that began in the 70’s and continues to this day. The research is focused on what makes relationships succeed or fail. This method is designed to help teach specific tools to deepen friendship and intimacy in your relationship. To help you productively manage conflicts, you will be given methods to manage “resolvable problems” and dialogue about “gridlocked” or (perpetual) issues. We will also work together to help you appreciate your relationship’s strengths and to gently navigate through its vulnerabilities.
Joint Session – (80min)
In this session we will talk about what brings you and your partner into therapy, the history of your relationship, areas of concern, and what conflict looks like in your relationship. At the end of this session, if both of you decide to continue with therapy then I will send out the online assessments for you to do at home individually.
Partner 1 only – (80min)
I will meet with you individually to learn each of your personal histories and to give each of you an opportunity to share thoughts, feelings, and perceptions.
Partner 2 only – (80min)
I will meet with you individually to learn each of your personal histories and to give each of you an opportunity to share thoughts, feelings, and perceptions.
Joint Session – (80min)
In this session, I will share my findings, provide psychoeducation and give my recommendation for treatment. We will also identify and mutually agree on treatment goals here.
The length of therapy will be determined by your specific needs and goals. We can be working from 2 months to 2 years and every couple is different. Most of the work will involve sessions where you will be seen together as a couple, however, there may be times when individual sessions are recommended. As part of couple’s therapy, video recording can be used in sessions as a therapeutic tool, but I will always ask for signed permission before I do that. I may also give you exercises to practice between sessions. In the course of therapy, we will establish points at which to evaluate your satisfaction and progress. Also, I will encourage you to raise any questions or concerns that you have about therapy at any time.
In the later stage of therapy, we will “phase out” or meet less frequently in order for you to test out new relationship skills and to prepare for termination of the therapy. Although you may terminate therapy whenever you wish, it is most helpful to have at least one session together to summarize progress, define the work that remains, and say good-bye.
In the outcome-evaluation phase, as per the Gottman Method, four follow-up sessions are planned: one after six months, one after twelve months, one after eighteen months, and one after two years. These sessions have been shown through research to significantly decrease the changes of relapse into previous, unhelpful patterns. In addition, commitment to providing the best therapy possible requires ongoing evaluation of methods used and client progress. The purpose of these follow-up sessions then will be to fine-tune any of your relationship skills if needed, and to evaluate the effectiveness of the therapy received.
I suffered from anxiety disorder in June 2012 due to my family and health problems. My friend recommended me to see Ms Lori Chau for help. I met Lori in October 2012. Lori is a nice and pleasant lady that makes me feel relax and comfortable during the counselling sessions. She showed great patience in listening to me and gave positive feedbacks to my problems. She offered me techniques and skills to overcome my anxiety. During that period, my husband was quite difficult to handle my emotion and communicate with me. He did not know how to handle me while I was feeling anxious. I always had conflicts with him. Lori invited my husband to join the counseling sessions with me.
She offered great help in my communication with my husband. Our relation had great improvement after the counselling. My anxiety has also been consistently improved after receiving the counselling service from her. I deeply appreciated for her help.
My partner and I undertook couples counseling with Lori and we can honestly say it is the best thing we have ever done to get our relationship back on track. Lori has fantastic strategies that she shares, models and explains In a way that makes sense for everyone. These learnt strategies have proved invaluable as we continue our journey as a couple. We feel like we have a variety of tools to rely on now all thanks to Lori and her calm, easy-going and positive approach. Leaving after each session we felt rejuvenated and optimistic for the future. There was always something we could continue to work on after the session was over. Thank you Lori, you really are wonderful!
I always thought that, we as human beings with intelligence and some common sense, could always handle our daily trials and tribulations. When we encounter obstacles at work, we look for solutions and resolutions, do we not? And somehow we are able to mostly find the necessary tools/answers to resolve an issue, find solutions to a problem, look for ways to improve, etc… So I thought that the same would hold true at home. How mistaken I was.
My wife and I have had our shares of joys, anger, disappointment, contempt, sarcasm, and sadness but somehow we always managed to plough through, not realizing that layers and layers of unresolved issues just accumulated beneath the surface. When we realized that correction to this path was above our skills, we reached out to marriage counselors, hoping to find solutions and resolutions. After many attempts with different ones, I became skeptical and cynical with these counselors. Perhaps I was looking for the magic potion, one that would solve it all. After a few sessions with each, we gave up with less clarity, less hope and less belief in their abilities.
Arriving at the final fork in our married relationship, with no other possible avenue, we decided to try one last time at a counselor. We reached out to Lori Chau at Four Pillars Counselling. Now, 19 sessions later, we have hope that we will make it. What I have learned in the meantime is that, in a relationship, I had extremely poor communication skills. Not that my language skills were poor, what both of us did not realize that in order to communicate effectively, we also needed to learn how to listen without our own agenda and defensiveness, both of which bring on sarcasm, contempt, criticism and often times, stonewalling. We also did not understand or realize that, to get our point across, there was an effective way and then… the destructive way. It’s a long journey ahead, but with each arduous step, I am becoming more hopeful, a better listener, a better communicator, and overall… I hope, a better partner.
Thank you Lori for opening our eyes, showing us more effective ways of communicating and listening, by being better listeners, we also become better partners. In the far, far horizon, I can see a rainbow…
“My husband and I are extremely grateful for Lori’s guidance during the most difficult phase of our relationship. We were a bit skeptical about counselling in Hong Kong at first but we are so glad we finally gave it a try. Lori was very sensitive and knowledgeable during the couple and individual sessions. We learned a lot about communication and problem solving without hurting each other’s feelings. Thank you Lori for everything!”
Yes, I do. I have off peak hours for $1600.
Monday to Fridays 12pm – 7pm.
You can view my availability and easily make a booking directly online now.
Use the online booking link or this one here
In general we would be meeting once a week or once every two weeks. This is to allow time in between for tasks and homework to be completed before we meet again. Exceptions are made in some cases to do a series of intensive sessions over a short period of time.
